When I Rule The World 30.

I will veto anyone wearing a cowboy hat I don't think should be.  So no more pictures from the Calgary Stampede of some politician or celebrity looking uncomfortable and/or ridiculous in a cowboy hat.

When I Rule The World 29.

Equipment will be installed in every washroom to insure anyone over the age of five who uses the toilet washes their hands.  If it detects you not doing so you will get an electric shock as punishment.

When I Rule The World 28.

Texting and other playing with your phone will be forbidden when you're standing in line at the supermarket check out, airport check in etc.  You're supposed to be paying attention to the person behind the counter, not your electronic toy.

When I Rule The World 27.

Only cats and dogs whose appearances I like will be allowed.  Cats and dogs with smushed in faces, dogs that look like rats pretending to be dogs, those scary hairless cats, all will be forbidden.  Seriously, why would you want ugly little dogs when you could have something appealing, like a beagle?

When I Rule The World 26.

Everyone will have to read this blog at least twice a day.  It won't matter whether I've written anything lately or not.

When I Rule The World 25.

All radio stations will have to play "The Spirit of Radio" at least once a day, regardless of format.

When I Rule The World 24.

All restaurants will have to post their complete menus, including prices, at the front entrance.  Just think of all the trouble you'll save not going into a restaurant you can't afford, or has a menu composed of things you'd don't want to eat.

When I Rule The World 23.

Someone very strong will be on 24 hour call to carry me around when I have some problem like bad feet.  Or just when I feel like being very lazy. 

When I Rule The World 22.

I will instantly remove the driver's license of anyone I see driving in a stupid manner.  Given the way many of you drive I'm going to be taking away a lot of licenses.

When I Rule The World 21.

One of the top priorities of scientists will be to end the need for going to the bathroom.  Just imagine all the time you'll save not sitting on a toilet, cleaning the bathroom etcetera.

(Betcha in the Star Trek universe they eventually use transporter technology to remove bodily waste automatically, replacing the need for bathroom breaks.)

When I Rule The World 20.

America will convert to the Metric system.  Seriously, it's about time the US joined the rest of the world and used it. 

When I Rule The World 19.

If I am in a town or city, no one but me will be allowed to travel by private motor vehicle on a Saturday. You'll have to walk, use public transit, or ride a bicycle instead, because I really dislike not being able to find a parking spot.

When I Rule The World 18.

North Dakota and South Dakota will be renamed Top Dakota and Bottom Dakota.  There are probably lots of other places that could do with similar name changes, but that's a start.

When I Rule The World 17.

The name of Manitoba will be changed to Peopleatoba.  Why?  Just because.  It's not as if you'll be able to challenge my decisions when I'm El Supremo.

When I Rule The World 16.

When I rule the world, all sidewalks will have to have that rubberised coating on them that some people put on their driveways.  I really like walking on that stuff.

And since this is number 16 of these, I  will add an additional requirement.  When I rule the world all homes will have to have all episodes of 6teen on DVD.  And the whole series will be put on DVD.

When I Rule The World 15.

All businesses will be required to have multiple clocks located in various places.  That way customers will have an easier time of keeping track of what time it is, how long they've been shopping, and so on.

When I Rule The World 14.

A system will be developed and installed on each roadway so you can't drive faster than the posted speed limit.  I might be magnanimous and give you a 5 or so kilometer overage.  Of course police and other emergency vehicles will be exempt.  Serious, a large percentage of you drive too fast.  Those speed limit signs in Canada?  Are in kilometers per hour, not miles per hour.

When I Rule The World 13.

When I rule the world going all in with ridiculous hands like 8-5 offsuit during the first few hands of an online poker tournament will be severely punished.  If you're dumb enough to play hands like that you probably shouldn't be playing poker.  This rule will be for your own good.

When I Rule The World 12.

All the incessant screaming on TV, at public events, and so on will be prohibited.  Seriously, it's damn annoying!  Enough already.

It Won't Happen Anyway.

I was recently thinking about another one of my When I Rule The World ideas, namely that no one will be allowed to sit beside me on the bus.  But of course such a post would be silly.  After all when it happens I won't be riding public transit, so making such a proclaimation is unnecessary.