Mocking The Clickbait 22: News From The Future

 At 111, Linda Gray Lives So Modestly.

So, how are things in 2051?  Did we get over COVID 19 yet?

Linda Gray, best known for her years on the classic nighttime soap Dallas, is 81.  

Mocking The Clickbait 21: New Calendar Time.

 23 Cool Products That Could Sell Out In 2020.

I know it seemed like 2020 was going to go on forever, but it finally is 2021.  I'll leave it to someone else to find out if those "cool products" actually sold out last year.

Mocking The Clickbait 20: Twice As Patriotic As You.

Canadian Canadian Casino Forced To Fire Manager.  Here's Why.

A Canadian Canadian manager.  As opposed to just a Canadian manager.

Mocking The Clickbait 19: You Are Correct.

You'd Be Surprised How Many Canadians Rushed To Try These Casino Jackpots.

Definitely.  Canadian casinos are currently closed because of COVID 19.  It's kind of hard to gamble when the doors are locked, and the staff are staying at home.

Mocking The Clickbait 18: You Need Better Scientists.

New Evidence Tells Scientists What Really Happened On Noah's Ark.

There's no new evidence to be had that will change the fact that there was no Noah, ark, or worldwide flood.  If a scientist actually believes otherwise they aren't a very good scientist.

Mocking The Clickbait 17: You Failed Geography, Didn't You?

30 US Cities With the Worst Reputations(Saskatoon's ranking might surprise you)

As you probably know Saskatoon isn't a US city.  It seems their location tracking software needs some work.

Mocking The Clickbait 16: And They Won't Do It To You?

Instagram Banned Her For Sharing This Method That Made Her Rich.

It seems to me that if they banned her for her method they'll stop you from using it, and probably ban you too.

Mocking The Clickbait 15: Our Beliefs Clash.

Moms We Can't Believe Were Allowed on 'Toddlers and Tiaras.'

I can't believe you watched Toddlers and Tiaras.

Mocking The Clickbait 14: Do It The Old Way.

Photoshop Didn't Exist Back Then So Yes These Pictures Are Real.

(The lack of punctuation is theirs.)

You don't need Photoshop to alter photos.  People were doing retouching work on photos from pretty much the moment photography appeared in the 1830s.  Just another thing that existed long before you could find a computer everywhere.

Mocking The Clickbait 13: You Don't Know My Imagination.

Unconventional Baby Names You Haven't Thought Of Yet.

Au contraire, I did so think of calling a baby Vongpigulon or Likestoeatdogfood.

I have to admit I actually did click on this link.  It uses the typical clickbait slide show format, and the first 3 names are Ash, Atlas, and August. I didn't bother with the rest.  I'm pretty sure I've heard of more than one person named Ash, would be entirely unsurprised to hear someone is called Atlas, and August made me think of the late Mohawk actor August Schellenberg.

Mocking The Clickbait 12: And They Can Stay There!

Putting Onions In A Zip Lock Is The One Hack You Just Have To Know.

I can actually sort of agree with that.  Putting onions in a zip lock bag is the best place for them.  Unfortunately these horrible people actually mean for you to use those evil creations later.  But don't listen to them.  Just say no to onions.

Mocking The Clickbait 11: Wanna Date?

5 Psychological Traits of EliteSingles Men.

My guess is that one of them is that they're arrogant enough to think they're an "EliteSingle," but I doubt that's one of the ones they list.  It's generally not a good idea to insult your customers.(Unless of course you're trying to sell something to specific people who like that kind of thing.)

Mocking The Clickbait 10: You're From The Future!

Jenna Jameson's Final Net Worth Left Us Without words.

So, what year are you from, and how did you time travel back to 2017?  In this time period Jenna Jameson is alive and well.  And apparently has fallen for a bunch of hard right bullshit.

(The headline being mocked actually was written with a small W in words, and is not something I did.)

Mocking The Clickbait 9: It Won't Help You.

These Celebrities Don't Believe In Monogamy.


Whether that's true or not you still won't be getting into their pants.

Mocking The Clickbait 8: Wrong Year.

Scott Walker, the 'Do It My Way' Gov, Enters 2016 Race.

Too bad it's 2017.

Mocking The Clickbait 7: Not A Virtuoso.

Chicken's Rendition Of "America The Beautiful" Will Give You Goosebumps.

On the other hand its rendition of "Copacabana" will make you nauseous. 

Mocking The Clickbait 6: Education Needed.

These Pictures Are For Guys Only.

Umm, yeah, you see, there are women who call themselves lesbians.  And bisexuals.  And pansexuals.  They might also want to see pictures of "the most beautiful women on the Internet."  Or maybe not, given the kind of pictures you might be showing.  I won't be looking to find out, so as not to give you traffic. 

Mocking The Clickbait 5: I Actually Knew That One.

Food can make you older.

Indeed.  It's a long proven fact that people who don't eat food tend to end up dead fairly quickly.  So eating will make you get older, because it ensures you keep living.

Mocking The Clickbait 4: Where Did You Go, Puppy?

20 Most Loyal Dog Breeds.  #6 Surprised Us!

On the other hand they weren't surprised that the Armenian Short Haired Disloyalhound wasn't included on that list.

(Is there actually such a thing as a disloyal dog breed?)

Mocking The Clickbait 3: Rare Or Well Done, There's No Difference.

15 Rare Photos That They Don't Show You In History Class.

Well, yeah,  I wouldn't expect them to show that photo of your cousin Mike wearing his wife's bikini at that pool party a few years back.  Sure, it's rare, but it's not quite of historical significance.